Suzy goes on bended knee to her readers…

I’m away for a while over summer, and while I can post-date as many posts as I can write, and while I am surely capable of a prodigious output if I try and set my mind to it, I’d rather not. So I have posts, but not a usual number. And I was wondering how to keep my blog busy, and stop everybody completely losing interest, and quench the appetites of all those three voracious DBAH readers I have – and I happened to find a post by sulz which I missed at the time she posted it.  

 

She says:

 “I thought YOU could do a GUEST POST on bloggerdygook! YOU, yes, YOU! You who has a blog, You who doesn’t have a blog, You! Well, not just any You, but at least the You I know. As long as I know who you are, you’re good to do a guest post here for any day for the month of July!”

And I guess that pretty much sums it up! She’s had a lot of response and I don’t know if I’ll get any at all, but if you feel like helping me out here then it’s a wonderful chance to promote your blog (wonderful? Well, OK, it’s a good chance, then – I have about 300 hits a day) and if you have no blog, well, then it’s a wonderful chance to show the world just what a sweet person you really are! Also, I will be indebted to you. Don’t you want me indebted to you? And I’m surely worthy. Aren’t I? You know I am… ahem. OK. I’ll get on with it.

 

If my charming pitch has convinced you (I feel like I’m on Dragons’ Den) then you’re free to write about pretty much anything. If it’s vaguely mental health-related, so much the better, but if it’s about your dreams and ambitions, or reasons England should become a republic, or why you love me and my blog so much (yes, my mood is still floating in the clouds, and currently I am mightily optimistic) – so long as it’s somewhere between four hundred and a thousand words long, you’re good to go. And, er… the catch is the deadline, and the deadline is the 8th July. I go away the next day…

 

But I have full confidence that any of my wonderful readers who choose to assist me and take up the gauntlet I have now thrown down will be entirely capable of writing a small quantity by then! (Cue charming grin from Suzy and shaking heads from everybody who knows that she talks like this all too often in real life.)

 

s_may_robinson *at* yahoo.co.uk is the place to go.

Practice for when I win my Booker Prize

Ten thousand hits.

I feel unworthy but mightily chuffed, all the same. Thank you to everybody who has ever read this, for your support in the weird times and the bad times and the hyper times, and all your lovely comments and your own equally lovely blogs. I couldnae have done it without you!

Memeing to save a (metaphorical) life

I was so close to 300 hits yesterday it’s almost infuriating (296)! I’m not sure why it was so high. I keep getting really high stats on days of no real interest, or sometimes days I don’t even post.

Anyway, I need to get myself out of the rut I’m about to get stuck in, so I’ve kidnapped a meme I wasn’t tagged in off sulz, and the results of this action lie below.

I’m a celebrity of the Google age

I have a proper post on its way, but I just wanted to mention something that made me very happy. Yesterday was my day of most hits so far (260, if you’re interested, and I’m not sure why so many) but that’s not it. It’s that when I started typing ‘dumped-’ into the Google box in the top of my screen, the one that does predictive text – you know, tries to guess what you’re searching for before you finish – my blog is the fifth option! Probably someone’s going to tell me that yes, all blogs are automatically listed in that box, but right now? I feel famous. I’m not jumping up and down with joy but I’m very close to it.

Anyway, that’s all for the moment. Happy Thursday!

Posting about posts in an ever decreasing circle

Having reached four thousand hits yesterday, and that being since I started this on April the twenty-fourth, and having had all my lucidity and love of the written word leeched out of me lately by multiple GCSE exams in History, English Lit., and English Lang., and having liked reading aethelreadtheunread’s post about, well, posts – with all this done or said or whatever verb it takes, I thought I’d do the same. It was fun, seeing what people like and don’t.

 

So here you go. A bit of blog-orientated introspection. And (nope, I haven’t got tired of it yet!) click Read More, if you should so choose!

 

Hating everyone in general but you in particular

1.       Smile at me as you walk in the room.

2.       Smile at someone else as you walk in the room.

3.       Laugh at a joke I crack.

4.       Laugh at a joke someone else cracks.

5.       Look at me.

6.       Look at anyone else.

 

And just by carrying out one of those directions I hate you. And because while I’m thinking about you I am you, I hate myself. And because I deserve that hate you are by comparison perfection. But I’m you. So I am too. And it goes on.

 

And I wonder why my friends find me scary?

 

This is the way it works. If you smile at me, it’s because you find me amusing (in a bad way) and you’re laughing at me. If you smile at someone else, it’s because you like that person more than me. If you laugh, it’s not the joke you’re laughing at – it’s me. If you laugh at a joke made by someone else, I want to know why – laughing shows them your allegiance and your allegiance belongs with me, if there was anything about me you liked you wouldn’t change sides so easily. If you look at me it’s because you’re laughing at me, you hate me, you can’t believe how much you hate me so you’re having to force yourself to look so I don’t get suspicious – but I know your game. And if you don’t look at me? Boy oh boy, will you regret that!

 

In the back of my mind I suppose I know how irrational it is to think this way, but I can’t help it. I think it’s linked to the low self-esteem thing, because even when I think the world of myself I still read everything as negatively as it’s even possible to do. Lately I’ve started telling myself ‘just because Danny said hi to Alex when she walked in, it doesn’t mean she hates you. She can talk to who she likes. Anyway, Alex is in front of you. She couldn’t see you’, but it never really works.

 

It’s also a vicious circle inside a vicious circle, which really doesn’t help me out much here. As I change to what I think the person I’m with wants to see, when I pick up on their ‘I hate you’ vibes, it’s not just Suzy they don’t like – it’s the version of Suzy I thought they’d like that they hate; it’s their custom-made Suzy that they’re rejecting. Even when I try to be liked I’m hated, and because they hate me, I hate them right back.

 

That’s the first vicious circle. The second is this.

 

If I’m trying my hardest to be them, and they hate me, then I’ve got to hate me too. But because I’m so worthless now, they look like the most praiseworthy human to walk this planet since Mother Teresa, which deepens my hatred of them and myself because I can’t live up to that and they know it, how dare they put themselves on such a pedestal?

 

Written down, this makes me seem like an unreasonable kind of gal. These poor people have done (almost) nothing to deserve their treatment!

 

Uh… as a witty rejoinder failed to materialise there, let’s just move on.

 

I’ve been feeling just as ambiguously towards this blog. It’s really stupid and it makes me feel like crap, but I can read hatred and criticism into anything (if I was in Heroes – if only! – it’d be my power). You comment? I love you! You don’t say exactly what I wanted to hear, although I’ve got no idea what I did want to hear? I hate you! My stats go down a little? Delete the blog! They go up a little? Life has a purpose! It’s ridiculous. It really is. But it’s just hindsight that tells me so: at the time it’s all got a meaning.

 

And mostly that meaning is ‘I hate you, Suzanne’. Yeah? Well, I hate you right back! You don’t hate me? Don’t lie to me! To lie to me like that you must hate me… which you do! I knew it!

 

Hm… all of me just seems so crazily touchy when you get right down to (virtual) brass tacks.

 

EDIT: didn’t mean this to come across like it’s addressed to a single person – oh no, I’m not picky, even if you’ve never spoken to me I’ll snap my opinion of you around so fast you’ll get seasick – the ‘you’ could be anybody. If you met me I’d act the same, though I bet I’d tell myself I wouldn’t. Alas… que sera sera (couldn’t find the right accents for the ‘e’s)…