Stumble It!
Rhiannon is riding for a fall and how. She thinks she’s a bit cool. She thinks she’s more than a bit cool. She thinks she is not just the bee’s knees but also its head, thorax, and abdomen.
Edit: OK, this post was unnecessary. Here are the pertinent facts:
- Rhiannon was annoying me.
- So I was very rude about her to a bunch of strangers, ie. you.
- And I’m a control freak.
- Now the post is removed.
- And this is my second dog-related title in six days, though now the content of the post is gone it’s possible it makes minimal sense.
- Check out the tags if you missed it. They tell an entire story on their own.
Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: | alcohol, bristol nightlife, bumble bee, club drugs, control, control freak, dog, drugs, drunk, e, ecstasy, health, lesbian, lsd, paranoia, poppers, rave drugs, rhiannon
you write well
Suzy: thanks.
hate being alone, because you are scared of being left by people.
have unstable relationships with others
find it difficult to know ‘who you really are’ – your sense of ‘self’
feel a horrible ‘emptiness’ that causes you pain
be moody or feel angry, restless and anxious for long periods
lose your temper and get involved in fights frequently
find it very difficult to take criticism
feel ‘paranoid’ – as if other people are against you
have the feeling that things are not ‘real’ sometimes
you get into at least 4 of those in this post alone.
zl x
Suzy: zulululu, you are very nice to me a lot of the time but really. I mean really now.
Where did you find this list, though? It’s got stuff I haven’t seen before on it…
(It’s the BPD criteria, right?)
it’s a pleasure
i think i shall stalk you too.
Suzy: mutual stalking! I’m flattered!
It’s a long life. One day none of this will matter.
Suzy: and then one day nothing will matter. If I keep looking to the future I’ll miss out on the present.
What a story through tags. That could be a new game, or am I just way too bored?!
Suzy: I do love my tags; all of my tags tell stories. Sometimes irrelevant ones.
You go next.
I read the original post and I can see why you’ve removed it. We all have days where people piss us off, it doesn’t make us any less of a person. Plus you have other things to worry about (i.e. your mental health) which are far more important than the things she is worrying about (fitting in with the ‘cool’ kids).
She’ll grow out of wanting to be cool and she’ll find her own niche. We all do. I went through so many rebrands at school, I find it scary to look at the annual school photo (it shows my clique year on year) and embarrassing.
Hope today is better,
xx
Suzy: thank you. I was concerned about what people would think of me reading it, but hey, I guess I’ll never know the readers anyway, so…
I’ve never had a fashion. I feel like I’ve missed out; but I did want to be a boy for a year or so, and that’s quite embarrassing. 
Next time I post, I’ll make a story. I haven’t a clue how a trip to the medical centre can do that, but I’ll think when I’ve had more than 4 hours sleep
(as in tomorrow morning).
xx
Suzy: I eagerly await it.
Trust me, you didn’t miss out. When I think about how much money I must have spent on each of my ‘new fad fashions’ when I was at school, I cringe. I also cringed when I moved back home from uni and cleared my wardrobe out from when I was in 6th form. I mean, velvet blouses/skirts – from my Goth days, what was I thinking?
I don’t think I fit into a fashion trend now. I wear what I fancy most days and sometimes I’ll look quite ‘rah’/'sloaney’ but I guess that’s natural given my upbringing and sometimes I’ll look quite emo with my DMs, skinny jeans and eyeliner. It depends on my mood. The only time I am totally conscious of what I wear and look like is when I have a medical/psych appointment. Then I make sure I look ‘normal’ – well as normal as a 23 year old should look.
I still have weird moments. When I was working last term in a school I got told off for wearing turquoise tights (I thought I looked classy – turquoise jumper, brown skirt, turquoise tights and brown shoes) as it looked too outlandish. I guess having an ex-art student as a mother (who incidentally used to have pink hair) has never helped.
I used to wish I was a boy. Mainly because I hated Barbie dolls and My Little Pony and I thought if I was a boy people wouldn’t try and put me in pretty dresses when all I wanted to wear was jeans and DMs. Then I embraced my girliness and now? Well I don’t really think about it now.
Final point. You write your blog for you. You shouldn’t be concerned about what people think about you when they read it. You’ll probably never know anyone who reads your blog and I doubt anyone will judge you for writing the truth or having the occasional ‘off’ day.
xx
Suzy: I have friends who are at students before their time. It seems to be a hit-and-miss style, and their misses always seem so much worse than other fashion styles’ misses.
I know what you say makes sense, and I tell myself it frequently. It’s just unwilling to sink in. I guess at some point in the past I decided everybody judges me, so now everybody judges me. Or I think they do. At least, it figures out the same in the end. Or something.
She thinks she is not just the bee’s knees but also its head, thorax, and abdomen.
Sorry – I just wanted to see this sentence in print again. I LOVE IT.
Suzy: I was rather chuffed with it too.
Thanks!
http://www.childrenfirst.nhs.uk/teens/health/conditions/b/borderline-personality-disorder_BPD.html got it here!
found the site on inthe margins blog a while ago, realy goods tuff on there. check it out!
zl x
It’s your blog! Write what you like, they won’t find you!
Suzy: but it was cruel and unnecessary and I regretted it! Well, I didn’t, as such, but I felt like I ought to.
It’s harder than I thought
I guess at 2.30am things don’t come easily. I’ll try better for next time, though. And that’s because I intend to take lots of photos of brum and put them up and talk about them… just because…
Suzy: you do that, Kate. You do that.
*pats encouragingly on shoulder*
This is your blog Suzy so you can write what you want and decide what stays up and what comes down. I did read this post before you edited it though. And yay for once I am commenting on your blog at a normal time of the day. Yay. Hannah X
Suzy: I can hardly bring myself to believe it! How’s you, then? Or is this not the time or the place to be asking?
Was that the Lakota in Bristol?! Or are there 2 such similar looking dives in the UK?!
Suzy: it was. But ssh. I don’t want anyone finding this through searches for any of that stuff… just in case…
Erm, k thx bai. Well, I hope you meant that in all niceness…
Suzy: course I did! I’m encouraging you to do a tag story! But I’m encouraging nicely.
Well Suzy freshers week is over and lecturs and all that joy started so I have to get up and drag myslef to university so I am not going out every night just five or six times a week and I am having a day off tonight so yeah thats why I was commenting during the hours of sunlight. (And lets just forget you asked about how I was). Oh yeah and because i havnt gone out my hands are not shaking from drink/hangover so my typing is normal. Hannah X
Suzy: I think you should be congratulated on cutting back on your clubbing rota.
Congratulations!
Sorry (Doh!) feel free to delete that – my mind must have been in neutral!
Suzy: nah, it’s OK.